I don't want to go off on a rant here...
If George Lucas taught us how to count: 4,5,6,1,2,3...
Okay, Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope (the 1977 version) was a fantastic movie. Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, awesome special effects for the time period. Lucas revolutionized the movie going experience as we knew it. It was followed in 1980 by the best sequel ever, Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back. Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader is his father, Han gets frozen in carbonite and is taken by Boba Fett. Awesome. The best Star Wars movie with no question. In 1983 Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi came out to finish out the trilogy of Star Wars. It wasn't bad, but I think there may have been just a few too many muppets in it. (Jim Henson field day). Then, what I would consider the worst thing to happen in Star Wars history happens. The 25th anniversary of Star Wars with the re-release and re-doing of the movies. OK. Big mistake. Now, it would have been awesome for the re-release of the movies in their original state, with maybe a clean-up here and there to update the special effects, but the special effects were already awesome. Nooo, they had to add a scene here, change this scene there and in my opinion it ruined what were the best movies ever made.
Oh, it didn't stop there. Lucas would continue through this downward spiral. In 1999 he came out with Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. What a piece of crap that movie was. Anakin looked like a toddler, Jar Jar Binks was the most annoying character to ever be concieved (and I have read and seen some annoying charcters in my time) and there were parts of the story introduced that created plot holes big enough to pilot the Millennium Falcon through. The crappiness continued with Episode two. Damn, if i were Obi Wan I would have killed Anakin by now just to stop his whining. I mean, I know Luke was whiny, but damn, this is over kill. (The Yoda fight scene was kinda cool, but kind of far fetched even in the Star Wars universe. The muppet is 900 years old for crying out loud.) George Lucas is a visionary, but he does not need to write and/or direct these movies. He just needs to put his name on them and let his company do the special effects. (Industrial Light and Magic is an awesome company that does amazing things, Lucas Arts as well.) Star Wars had the potential to be awesome, (I'm not talking about "red and yellow? Awesome!" No, I mean Awesome in the original sense.) but Lucas messed it up. He took something that was wonderful and beautiful and he smashed it. Not to mention the crappiness that Cartoon Network has been showing. The Clone Wars cartoons. Joel and I were all excited at first. An animated Star Wars show. We were expecting a half hour show. We watched the first episode and it was 5 minutes long, if that, and told us NOTHING! The crappiness continues. Cartoon Network has advertised about showing all of the shorts at once in a show (that will probably be around 30 minutes) but I won't be watching it. I am even considering not seeing the last movie (Episode III). I mean I would like to see it b/c its Star Wars and just maybe it will be kind of cool, but at the same time I am afraid it is going to piss me off. Other Star Wars related things are turning out quite crappy, too. I read an
article on
Fark.com about a Star Wars card game that is banned by the company that makes it because if you get a particular card it makes the game horribly unfair. Like if you have the card you can win on your first turn unfair. What genius thought that one up?
I want my money back from when i went and saw your crappy movies, George Lucas. You suck.
I await the hate mail from little geek boys everywhere.
Posted by jessab at April 16, 2004 10:21 AM