I am having a conflict of interest. I am currently an English major. I have just two more semesters to go (I really should be working on my masters by now, but hey, I took my time and moved around and made a few mistakes so I am still an undergrad at the age of 23, don't judge me, I do enough of that myself) and I really don't want to be a waitress with a degree, which is pretty much all a bachelor's degree in English can get you, that and a lot of questions of "Are you going to teach?" No.
So I sort of fell into the library profession. Still public service, without the mess of food, with the same customers, but now they are renting videos (for free) and asking asinine questions about tax forms and computers and “Do you have books here?" but we call them "patrons". I like it okay. Stress level is on the low side. There are the cool patrons and kids that come in and tell you crazy stories or do crazy things. It is amusing. I just don't know if I want to do that 40 hours a week. 20 hours are plenty right now. With my graduation slowly, but surely, getting closer, I decide to look around at leisure at graduate programs that are somewhat close to home, but not at the current institution of higher learning I am attending. A program for creative writing has come to my attention and I have once again considered it. I considered it a while back, but then changed my mind for some reason or another and now it is back nagging at me. My only problem is confidence. I don't think I have the confidence or the skill to even get into a program like that. I know it never hurts to try, but those programs only take the best due to the want of keeping the teacher/student ratio at equilibrium and I am not sure I can live up to those expectations. I would like to try though. I know, I know. There is no try, only do or do not. I hear Yoda and my father telling me this and I can’t deny either my father or Yoda, no matter how much George Lucas sucks.
Perhaps I will do. I will work my ass off this summer reading and writing and exercising my brain and see how it shapes up. If by the beginning of fall I am still discouraged then a shushing librarian I will be, but if I have a little more confidence in myself and have proved to myself that I can do it, then I shall be filling out applications for creative writing school. Yes, I think that sounds quite nice. Sounds like a good plan.
it sounds like a great plan. i read your beginnings of a short story and it holds true that you are creative and talented. trying is the only way we really learn. if you wouldn't have tried to talk to joel again, you wouldn't be mrs. herr right now. we'll all be very proud of you no matter what, i just wanted to let you know.
loveeeyoouuuuu