I serve the ungrateful lot that just survived the worst natural disaster in history. That is my job description at the moment. That event has shaped us into who we really are. It was an ushering in of my adulthood. It closed many chapters in my life and will open new ones. Everything changed and no one around here really knows how to deal with that. The true nature of humanity came through during and after the storm. People were brave, scared, and helpless, then they became helpful and patient, but those ran out quickly and people are now ungrateful and impatient and angry. I have been all of those things and more. It is the holiday season now, and when friends and family get together down here they have something to talk about. I am tired of hearing about it, but it has been carved into our culture now. You can’t escape it, so you may as well give in.
I haven’t written anything in weeks and the cold reality that I am not a writer and will probably never be one outside of this poster-covered room has set in. I don’t have the ideas, I pay no attention to plot, just characters, and not even good characters. I can’t spell worth a damn, I need a dictionary and thesaurus to make sure I know what I am talking about and spell check is usually the only thing that keeps me from sounding like a complete retard. I don’t get out enough, I don’t take chances that often, yeah I come up with the occasional one liner, but those aren’t even good and when taken out of context sound ridiculous.
I feel like an adult now, and it is sad, scary, unnerving and exciting. I have to make decisions I don’t want to make. I don’t think it is fair that I have to make them, but then David Bowie shows up with that stupid glass ball and mocks my complaining. He asks what my basis for comparison is, and I make him look around. That shuts him up. Go back to your goblin kingdom. But David Bowie in my daydreams doesn’t affect the fact that I still have to make some tough decisions and it is only going to get harder from now on.