go to this site. It takes a bit to load, but it is funny. Make sure your volume is up.
If you haven't gone to this one, go now.
Haven't updated in a little while. Been busy. Dad in the hospital, surgery tomorrow, school, work, stressing. You know, I've been doing the normal things. I keep totally forgetting that this weekend is Halloween. I have to work the day after at 9 a.m. so no partying for me that night. (that sucks) Joel, Robby and myself are going to go and see Chris Rock though, which should be good and funny. On Sunday we (Joel, Robby and myself) are going to VooDoo Fest to catch the White Stripes and A Perfect Circle among others and hang out and have a good time. I have never been to a VooDoo Fest before, so it should be an interesting experience for me. I am about to go to a farwell lunch for my former boss. She is leaving this weekend probably never to return. Her last day as my boss was this past Friday. She is a cool, cool woman. Probably the coolest boss I have ever had. She was laid back but got her stuff done and made sure everyone else got their stuff done, but also in a laid back way.
Here lately I haven't felt quite right, not in a bad way, just in a dazed way. I could blow off everything and just not care. I'm not going to do that just yet, but still, the feeling sucks. Perhaps when I get my shit together again (whenever that might be) I will be able to post more, but for now I think it will be seldom for me to post too much. My mind and my heart have to get back together and work cooperatively. Later....
go to this site and make sure your volume is turned up.
Clean house. Clean me. Everything is clean. Don't fucking mess with it. :-) No, but seriously. I was informed that Elliot Smith died this past week. That made my heart jump when I read it and was sure it was true. He was a very awesome musician. I don't know too much about him, just the music that I have heard and it was all beautiful. It saddened me a lot.
On a lighter note, Stephen, Summer, Shannon, Paul, Joel and I all hung out last night. It was great. Even though I said i would watch the movie and then wussed out. Sorry guys, that kind of violence when I was feeling that damn good isn't my thing. I know, I know. It's just a movie, damn, lighten up, but like Shannon is afraid of needles, I am afraid of being vicitmized like that chick was in Spun. I am sure it is a great movie, I just have to be in the right mood to watch it. Never-the-less, I had a good time talking and hanging out with everyone. Oh, I am now a member of Genuis. You should go there and check out the website and my soon to be appearance there. Now I am just waiting for Joel to get here and then who knows. I'm getting hungry. I shall venture to the fridge.
My head hurts. Perhaps when I whacked the fuck out of it when i got out of my car this afternoon is the problem. I have so much stuff to do for school:
Spanish 102: I need to catch up on my work book, my lab manual and the video manuel.
Music 365: I need to study for the quiz on monday.
Nutrition 362: dietary analysis due in a week
History 102: read chapters 29, 30, 31; read about 30 pages in extra book, write persuasive paper (due Tuesday) write out the 75 terms and definitions for test the following tuesday, study for test.
That's the rundown on that. Like any of you care. I don't feel too good either. My head is reverberating every sound, and i have just the general maliase. It will probably get better later this afternoon. I hope so. Well, I'm out. Later....
I was sick yesterday. Throwing up at 3 a.m. = no fun. It was just sinus drainage luckily and not a virus or anything, which I was afraid it was. I am all better now. Drinking my tea and doing my homework....well, I'm not doing my homework right now as you can see, but i was doing it a minute ago. Honest.
There is a new coffee shop around. I would like to check it out. Perhaps I will do that on my way back from class this afternoon. Mmmmm. English breakfast tea is good.
I talked to Harvard boy yesterday. He is teaching out there now. I am so proud of him. To go from Long Beach High School to Alabama to Harvard is no easy task, believe me. I miss him sometimes. The quirkiness, the random words stringing together to make random sentences that were just crazy enough to make sense to someone. I am sure he is torturing the hell out of those Harvard undergrads. Someone needs to.
What else...hmmm....I am reading Frank Herbert's Dune as opposed to the Dune-Lite books, which were okay, but are being greatly overshadowed by the real thing. It is a really good book. I can't wait to see how things pan out in the other books.
We were watching I Love the 80's Strikes back the last couple of nights. It is funny. We caught '81, '82, and '83. They talked about Fraggles last night and showed clips from it. Damn it was nostalgic and great. I was lucky enough to have HBO at the time it came on. I had forgotten that it only came on that channel. I think they reran it on Disney channel a few years later.
I think that is about it for now. Just lazy stuff and homework. Well, I'm off to do more homework. Later all.
Monday. Bleh. School and work and school. I am so lazy this semester, I don't want to do any of it. I don't mind doing it too much, I just don't want to be graded on it, I guess. Had a good weekend. Friday we went out to eat with Kev and Erin. Saturday we went over to Shannon and Paul's to hang out. It was mainly just Joel and myself and Shannon for a while. Paul was making jack-o-lanterns with his little bro but came back later. We just chilled and talked about things and people and what was going on at our respective libraries. in a couple of weeks she is having a cook out because Sara and Joe are coming in from Texas and will be visiting them and she invited me and Joel. I think that will be fun. I think Joel and I may go and see Chris Rock for Halloween. It will be a weekend full of shows. That Sunday we are going to New Orleans to see the last day of VooDoo Fest to catch the White Stripes and A Perfect Circle among other things. We would love to go Saturday as well, but I have to work. Iggy Pop and the Stooges are going to be there Saturday and I would love to see them. I hope we get to go to Chris Rock, that would so very terrific. Well, I gotta go and do some things before I have to go to class. have a good day, everyone.
Sleeeeeepy. That is what I am. With the extra e's and everything. I am currently waiting for Joel to bring me and Jan lunch. I am hungry. It is a pretty slow day today at the library. Not too many people out here on this gorgeous day. I would like to be outside reading a book or napping or something. Preferably napping at this state. Joel's new car is awesome. I drove him to the dealership to pick it up yesterday. He has pics up on his site if you are interested....Ah...he just left and now I am full of Taco Bell. Yum Yum. Just got off the phone with Shan (my library is better than your library). I think Joel and I will go over there tonight and hang out for a little while. We are both pooped though so no wild and crazy partying, Shan. Sheesh. :-) Last night Joel and I went with Kevin and his girlfriend Erin to Tigre's again. Damn that place is good. It is worth every penny you spend there. One thing that was cool was that some customers that were sitting at a table near us wanted to know how the salmon was cooked, so when the chef was fixing our salmon he invited the people to go back to the kitchen to see how it was done. I thought it was neat that they did that. Anyway. I don't have much to report. Boring, boring life, but happy. Later....
I worked out my schedule for next semester. it is going to be cool I think. I will only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I will go from 9:30 - 5:00 straight pretty much with a lunch break in there and a little extra time to smoke a cigarette and stuff. I was going to take a survey of Shakespeare class but it was only offered on Monday and Wednesday evening and I wasn't going to take it if it was going to be my only class. I made up for it with a Women writers class on Tuesday and Thursday. i will just have to take old Will later. Probably next semester. I register next week, so hopefully I will get everything I want. I don't think it will be a problem though. Today has been gorgeous. I drove to work down the beach with my radio turned down and the windows rolled down and just listened to the wind and felt the cool air on my face. It was great. Of course now I am stuck inside at work for another half an hour, but it isn't too bad. I will get to leave soon and my boo-bear will be waiting for me and all will be well. I think we are going to watch Iron Giant tonight. He has never seen it. It is a great movie. You will cry like a little girl with a skinned knee when you watch it, though. Just ask Beau Sia. I am loving this weather. I am getting all dried out because of it, but it is way better than being hot as hell.
Hmmm. I guess thats it. Later....Oh, yeah. I just found this website. Hey, baby. Go here and have a freekin' fit!
I am up damn late. I can't sleep and reading isn't going to suffice for some reason. "Perhaps it's the fear of being burned at the stake." Where is that quote from? If you get it then you have mad skill, yo. I am reading Dune now. It is quite good. I am liking the science fiction thing right now. I countered it tonight with some Welcome to the Monkey House just to remind me about Vonnegut. Everyone must be reminded of Vonnegut. read Cat's Cradle now!! Not much going on. I had to take my dad to the doctor today so he could get his bladder checked out before the surgery. It looks good so the surgery will go on in a couple of weeks. I think he has to do more tests and his fever has to go down before they can do anything. After that I had to go to advisement which was productive. I think I will have a nice schedule next semester, plus i had a nice chat with my adviser. He is cool. Green Party rules! Joel got The Matrix Reloaded today and we watched most of it tonight before he had to leave. It was a cool movie, crazy orgy aside. The effects were quite cool, and the fighting is bad ass. read SlaughterHouse Five!! Our DVD collection is getting large. Anyone know where I could find a DVD of Glorius? It is hard to come by, but i haven't been to ebay to look for it in a while. Eddie Izzard is awesome!! I have Circle and Dress to Kill on DVD. Oh yeah, anyone want to give me an assload of money so I can go somewhere cool and see Eddie? That would be great, too. get me a plane ticket!! Yeah, yeah. I bet his new tour is fucking hilarious though. I wish I could be there.
I feel like fucking Doogie Howser at his computer. Neil (sp?) Patrick Harris. Ha. Where is he now? Did they ever spoof him on Clerks? That would have been nice. big American party!! Well, I think that is it for me right now. I have no idea if I am going to go to bed or what. I'm not really tired at the moment, but I think i will go and read more. Later....i'm out
This has been a long week. Bleh. I don't have anymore classes this week after tonight though. Yay. It isn't too bad. I have to work everyday this week except on Wednesday (tomorrow). It's cool though since I only worked 2 days last week. Tomorrow I have to skip my class and take dad to the doctor for a test he has to have. It does not sound pleasant at all. For joel's birthday we went out to eat at Tigre's on Friday night and it was awesome. Saturday we went bowling. It was fun even though I suck at bowling. Joel and I talked about when we went there to hang out before we started dating but after the 9 month gap and he has called it.
This girl in my music appreciation class who i went to high school with and never really talked to in high school decided last night that she and I were friends and started telling me her life story. Well, not her life story, just about this "amazing guy" she met who is only 20 and has a kid. Yeah. too much baggage for me. I was like "yeah, I have joel. He is awesome and we don't have kids." and I was so glad of that. She got all excited when she asked if we were going to get married and i said yeah. She giggled and clapped her hands. I wanted to say "not like you will be invited." Anyway. I am not dreading going to class too much. it is just boring. I have a map quiz in there. I didn't really study for it since I am usually pretty good with maps especially if i locate all the places on them myself. Well, I guess I'm out for now....later....
Other than waiting by my phone for a few hours my night was fairly enjoyable. Joel and I went and saw Kill Bill. Quite interesting. The second movie looks to be as equally bad ass as the first, if not more. There was lots of violence and lots of gore with inserted anime and damn, you have a good movie. It was just a straight cut kung fu revenge flick that was shot like a live action anime. Trailers be fore it were nice as well. Matrix: Revolutions looks to kick the Reloaded flick's ass. The effects and story seem to come together quite nicely in the end. Caught the Return of the King trailer as well. That looks to be just a bad ass epic movie. I haven't been too disappointed so far in those flicks. I will be there to see that one. Joel and I then met up with his parents and went out to a kick ass dinner at Tigre's in the Pass for his birthday, which is today. (Happy Birthday!) It was the best meal I have had in a long time. We got done with that at around 7:30 and headed back to my place, and this is where we came in earlier. Joel and I played the Harry Potter card game for a while and played video games and watched Eddie in Live at the Ambassador's and then by the time Dogma went off at around 2:30 this morning I pretty much had fallen asleep and so had Joel. Now i think i am off to Crossroads for something and to the bank to deposit some stuff and then who knows. Later we are going bowling with his sister and her friends for her birthday which is tomorrow. I was thinking about going over to Shad's to watch Eddie with them, but I decided against it yesterday and thought it would be cool to go bowling. I'll go and pick up my eddie tape some other time. Probably when I go and get my mail from there. Well, i'm out, later....
This woman came in to get some books for her son. He must be around 8 or 9. She goes back to the children's wing and then immediately comes back out to inform me that a woman is
Observation: Multi-screen viewing is seemingly anticipated by Burroughs' cut up technique. He suggested re-arranging words and images to evade rational analysis, allowing subliminal hints of the future to leak through...an impending world of exotica glimpsed only peripherally. Perceptually, this simultaneous input engages me like the kinetic quivalent of an abstract or impressionist painting...phosphor-dot swirls juxtapose; meanings coalesce from semiotic chaos before reverting to incoherence. Transient and elusive, these must be grasped quickly: Computer animations imbue even breakfast cereals with an hallucinogenic futurity; music channels process information-blips, avoiding linear presentation, implying limitless personal choice...these reference points established, an emergent worldview becomes gradually discernable amidst the media's white noise. This jigsaw-fragment model of tomorrow aligns itself piece by piece, specific areas necessarily obscured by indeterminancy. However, broad assumptions regarding this postulated future may be drawn. We can imagine its ambience. We can hypothosize its psychology. In conjuction with massive forcasted technological acceleration approaching the millennium, this oblique and shifting cathode mosaic uncovers the blueprint for an era of new sensations and possibilities. An era of the conceivable made concrete...and of the casually miraculous. - Alan Moore The Watchmen
That is the coolest comic book ever. I finished reading it last night and wanted more instantly. Unfortunately there is no more to read. It is about lies, humanity at is finest and at its worst, war, fear, conspiracies, doing the right thing, making mistakes, sacrificing some for the good of many. One of the chanracters in it that I found most fascinating was Dr. Manhatten (the only hero in this comic book with special powers I might add, aside from the most intelligent man alive, Veight, but I don't really consider that true super powers, but he is really damn smart). He was human once. A son of a watch maker who was forced into atomic physics by his father who thought in this world of hate and war that a watch maker was a thing of the past. While working as an atomic physicist, he was accidentally shut into this cell that took things apart at the molecular level. He was totally taken apart by light essentially, but managed to reform himself from the cellular level. First there was bone, then the ciculatory system and muscles began to form...you see the progression. After the accident, he became super human; he could control everything down to the molecular level. He could make anything he wanted, change things into whatever he wanted. He existed everywhere in time. He was living in the past, present and future. He knows everything that is going to happen, but before it happens he really doesn't understand it. He was quite well done. Alan Moore did very well on the development of characters. I knew each one and why they were the way they were. Unfortunately his wonderful writing style does not transfer to the theatrical screen (case in point The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) but on the page it is completely awesome and draws you in completely. The art in this book, illustrated by Dave Gibbons and colored by John Higgins, is way ahead of its time (the book came out in 1986 or 87) and even a noob to comic books like myself can see why this is the difinitive in comic books to this day with both story and art.
I am finiding that comic books are just as good, if not better, than what one would consider "normal literature". They are used as political and social commentaries of this world more so than other literature I think. They use forshadowing, irony, and symbolism (among other literary devices) more than any other pieces of literature that I have read. It is a subculture I think that people think that they know about, but they have yet to scratch the surface.
Tuesdays suck. I don't like them that much. I have so much stuff to do. i have a final tomorrow that I need to study for but I have class tonight until 10 p.m. No good. I need to go to that class just because of how the professor is, but i need to study at the same time. I have two massive map assignments I have to do for this class i have tonight for next week and I haven't started on that yet. I was thinking about skipping out of the class at break and going to the library for a little while so I could go over my spanish stuff. There is a neat website that helps you study the grammer and verbs. I have been doing it off and on while i could at work, but not too much. I am going to have to play tonight by ear. If the lecture looks like it could get serious for once then I will stay in class the whole time, other than that I am jetting.
My poor baby had a rough afternoon. His car broke down. I wanted to leave work and go and get him and be with him, but I am no where near where he was. Damn, i just wish this night was already over and I was in his arms about to fall asleep. Things would be a lot better then.
Yesterday was awesome. I had a very good day. Good news, good times, good friends. Saturday night wasn't too shabby either. Other than wanting to hurt Shan's dad for being...well, like he is. I love you so much Shan. I am so glad you are nothing like him and you were smart enough to get out of that situation and live with your mom. If he were my dad, i would have knocked him unconscious a long time ago. But I was glad I was there for you. And i always will be.
Wow. Life is moving at an ever accelerating speed and things are starting to happen and set into motion and I think I will like it. I was stressing there for a while b/c of how I am. It all has to be done now. Right now. Not later, now. I don't like open ends. I like closure. not just any kind of closure, the immediate kind. But i have settled down. I just have to learn to take things day by day and not try to cram a bunch of shit it to a small space.
My dad is doing ok. He is scheduled for sugery on the 20th of this month and hopefully that will clear everything up. he just needs to get rid of that infection that has been plaguing him for the last 6 months. That is the only thing everyone is worried about. It could get quite nasty if the proper treatment is not done, and I would like to have my dad around for a little longer, thank you.
Other than that, things are starting to work out nicely. The problems and the resolutions all came about within a week. Talk about stressing. Ha. Laters....
Oh, wait....hehe. Guess what? Doctor Who is going to be coming back on the air....and guess who is probably going to play the title character? Eddie Izzard. Just thought that was cool.
A beautiful Saturday and I am stuck inside the library, working away. Bleh. I am in better spirits. Things are still around, but I am learning to deal with them day by day, a little better as time passes. I am tired and just want to go home and see my boo-bear. I talked to him on the phone and he sounded so bored and sad. I wish I could be with him right now. We had a good time by ourselves last night. We just chilled and talked and listened to music and went through some old boxes i have packed. I was looking for some things so we went through all the boxes. It was neat. Not too much longer here. Just an hour and a half really. Today has seemed so long. Too long if you ask me. I can't wait until next weekend. I have both Friday and Saturday off. I have been trying to work on some of my homework for next week, but I can't seem to concentrate that well on it. It will get done, it just may take me longer.
Yeah, creepy towel guy just walked by staring at me.....what a freaky guy. He never bothers anyone, he just comes in with his towel over his shoulders and sits and reads the paper or a magazine or something and then leaves. Sometimes he doesn't read anything at all. He just sits there and stares at people. Well, I guess thats it. Later...
According to my father, I need to be happier. Yes, I am happy from time to time. I would even to go as far as saying that I am generally happy most of the time. But am I truly happy with where I am right now? I don't feel that lust for life that I have had in the past. I haven't really at all this year. I blame myself because I have isolated myself from everyone except Joel. Now, that isn't totally my fault. I haven't heard from anyone wanting to hang out with me in a while. I have no messages on my cell phone, no e-mails or comments. Moving on....
Not much has gone on in the last couple of days. School kicked my ass this past week, I am tired and just want to relax and for everything to be ok. I have been having to deal with the fact that my parents don't really tell me things that I really do need to know. Joel and I have had some pretty serious things to discuss that will affect the rest of our lives, and dammit, I am tired of life being so god damned serious all the time. I would like to have support from other people. Joel is wonderful and supportive, but this is a lot of stuff and I tend to overload him I think. It isn't fair to him, but no one else is around. I was thinking the other day about how nice it would be for me to talk to my other friends about some of the things I/we have been going thru if even to just get it out and maybe get a different perspective on it. I don't know. I know I probably could, but at this point I don't feel comfortable with it....see the entry previous to this one for explanation. I am not attacking the people I know for not contacting me or giving me sympathy or support. They have no idea what is going on and that isn't their fault. I am going thru what I would like to call my "Sarah" phase when I think that everything isn't fair. It's not fair. The only difference is that I don't have a well hung David Bowie asking me what my basis for comparison is.
I was in some mood the other night and I was talking to Joel (like I do) and saying that I felt like I was bitter and mean and that is why I don't see any of my friends anymore. They don't call me or e-mail me or anything because...well, who the hell wants to hang out with a bitter and angry Jessica? I know I don't. Yes I have said some things about some people that were not very nice. I am not apologizing for them. I have apologized way too much in my life for things that aren't even my fault. I'm not saying that the things I said or did weren't my fault, they are, I mean, I said them.
I said them, it happened and nothing can take them back, no matter what I can do or say. I don't know if the current situation I have with my friends is that I have changed and they haven't or I haven't changed and they have. I can't tell. I have been in a nostalgic mood lately. (I blame it on the weather.) I have been thinking about old school times. Really old school. Like when N, S, and myself would go to the movies every weekend and hangout. S would comment on how much he loved N's vibrating car, we would make fun of him and the lack of evidence that S had a mother b/c for the longest time we never met her. I have also been thinking about K and how damn crazy she was and no matter how shitty her life was at the time she would come up with some quote about the situation that needed to be recorded and put into a book it was so damn funny and right for the situation, but we were always too inebriated to remember what the fuck we were just talking about and it was lost with all our other brain cells. When was the last time we gave out a "deep award" for some ridiculous insight someone had? Friction has occurred in the chain and things will never be the same again. We split, had different people in and out that not everyone agreed with causing more friction. People I was never even introduced to and couldn't tell you who they were to save my life occupy the vacant spaces that have developed over time. We have different ideas. Different beliefs. Different priorities that conflict. What is good for one isn't necessarily good for the others. This is the reason I am never around. I don't think I have anything to contribute. Things have shifted to a different place and I don't know where I fit in now. As I look back on things, yeah I had a good time, but I don't really see where I fitted in there, besides being the "baby". I was the impressionable one. The innocence that could be molded into...whatever. I have grown up a lot since the beginning of my development of deep relationships, I am not as naive as I once was. My duty is over I guess. I no longer fit into my former place. I'm just kind of there, hovering. I guess I'm just trying to let go of things, and this is a good way for me to do that. If I write things out, I can figure them out easier and perhaps I can do something about it, or someone will read it and understand.