World of Wings

Tingly inside

Every once in awhile I am able to look at my life and take it all in. Let it sink into my skin everything I have done, experienced and accomplished. Last night I fell asleep doing that. Gizzmo and Frosty politely shared my pillow. While Gizzmo licked my forehead Frosty purred with happiness. I could hear Omega running around playing and Skitty even came to visit for awhile. The birds were sleeping soundly (and according to Summer snoring) and Jitterbug was trying to figure out new ways to escape. Paul was snoring next to me. My house was halfway clean, my cupboard stocked, Summer was sleeping and Chancey was sleeping next to his mommy's bed. Ahhhhh....everything was as it should be. I was surrounded by love and all tingly inside. A far cry from where I thought I would be in '94 when I downed every prescription bottle my mom owned, or in '99 when I was partying my head off and sleeping with an asshole. Maybe this is where I belong. Maybe this is me. but something still seems to be missing. Maybe it is the baby in the next room crying to be fed, the independence I want by not having to borrow money from parents, maybe I want to feel healthy again and lose weight. I have so much, but I want so much. Does that make me selfish?

In other news: Summer's going away/graduation party is this Saturday. We will have lots of wine (thanks to Jess and Joel) and lots of food, but bring your favorite alcholic beverage if ya want to.

P.S. I had managed to forget that I did not get to see my future husband (David Bowie) in concert Friday, until I came into work today and W. just so happened to open the newspaper to a picture of him in concert in N.O. Now I am depressed and wanna go home. GOD DAMMIT TICKETMASTER! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

Posted by Shannon_50 at May 3, 2004 11:22 AM