My life is in a whirlwind right now. I find it funny that the person who jumped on me for being sick Monday and not getting my work done if I was out is now off for two days. Hmmm...wonder why it never gets done, do ya?
I went to the doc yesterday and cried and begged for him to fix me. Anything, ANYTHING I begged him. His only option right now? Pain pills. To mask the pain until my other doctor gets back to work and can do something else. Not that I am against pain pills, but damnit that is ALL they do is mask the pain. That is why I am afraid I enjoy them too much. Yeah...get me addicted then refuse them to me. Put me in a detox place. I just want them to FIX ME!
He also upped my Lexapro to 20 mg instead of the 10 I was taking. Remember that I am taking this after being used to 40 mg of Prozac? It did hit me for the first time as I was driving home with Karaoke Revolution the other day, though. That wave of contentment was wonderful and I thought "is this what it feels like to be happy?"
Omega is going through Chancey withdrawals, I'm going through Summer withdrawals and Paul...we he is happy as a lark. His friends are over often playing games or he is over at their house playing games. What a dork.
What can sooth my soul right now? I really don't know. I want to be happy and do everything I get set to do, but this damn pain always kicks back up revving my mood into low gear.
Oh...woe is me! Life is so sad! Maybe I could become a depressed poet who is never idolized in life, but in death because I killed myself some wacky, sad way. Lets avoid that please. I'd rather die a funny death. Like lets say I am in the supermarket and I slip over a orange and fall into a buggy that rides down the aisle and out into the street where a car hits it, the buggy and I flip over the car fall into the ocean where a shark eats us. Now THAT is a death.
We have a ailing hamster at home. Poor Scabbers (Miss Judy or Houdini) from work is visiting us because his little leg has withered into his body and turned black. My dear hubby took him to the vet and the poor baby has lost all circulation of blood in his leg. He drags it behind him dead and limp now. The doc said if it spreads we will have to put him down. I know he is just a hamster, but I whimper at the thought. I will be with him when he goes, though.
Enough for now. The last call to leave this place is coming.
Laziness comes soon.
Posted by Shannon_50 at June 9, 2004 05:33 PM