World of Wings

Make it stop

I now understand I am addicted to these GOD DAMN pain pills. I looked up some forums and saw so many symptoms I have when I try to stop taking them and I know now they are withdrawal symptoms.

Stomach ache
Headache
Chills
Achy body
Restlessness
Jumpyness
Cold sweats

My body is used to having its daily dose of 15 mg of hydrocodone a day. Thank god I have not moved up to as many mg that some of the people on the forum have. I could never imagine taking 40 - 50 mg a day. My pain management doc said one of the main reasons he gave me the clonopins was to get me off the Lori's. So tonight I will take my usual ten to relax, take my night time Clon. and start fresh tommorrow morning. I am seeing my regular doctor at 3 and I am going to talk to him about giving me something to keep me awake during the day since I get so tired and spaced out around 1 in the afternoon. Atleast until I am off these things.

I'm scared and I don't want to do this. Every thought in my brain is "don't worry...it's for pain", "Just one more", "You can quit tommorrow". The thing is that I have been taking them a full year! I am so used to them and I start freaking out when I reach the end of a bottle. Maybe I should try a NA meeting around here or something. I don't know how this will go. If I am out of it for the next week or so....please just forgive me. Last time I tried to quit I cried to Paul that I needed one...so bad that he bought me one. I wonder what life is like without them. I don't want to end up listless and tired on the couch like I did last time I tried to quit. Moody, too.

Wish me luck!

Posted by Shannon_50 at November 18, 2004 06:56 PM