June 06, 2005
I don't Know What I Want to Put Here...
My Harvey is still gone. Paul decided last night he wanted to go ahead and get another bird. It seems so unhealthy and I feel so guilty, but he said he felt it would help him keep his mind off of Harvey. I brought the cage in and emptied it of Harvey’s toys (I will not give any other bird his toys, it does not seem right) and I cried my eyes out as I laid each toy in a box…his hanging mirror with his smudges still on it, his cuttlebone with chips fallen out of it, his last millet spray…and put it away. The worst was when I emptied the bottom of the cage and his feathers were still there. Paul broke down and we both cried for a while. After we had both cried every tear left in our bodies we got a phone call from a lady saying she had found our bird. I was ecstatic!!! I couldn’t even talk to the lady I was crying so hard. Paul got on the phone for me and our hopes were crushed again when the lady described the bird. It did not sound like Harvey. Paul had to go anyhow and we met a beautiful little girl who was quite and tame, but it was not Harvey. We ventured to the breeder’s house that I talked to earlier and fell in love with his tiels, but they all looked too much like Harvey. I could not handle getting another one. In the end we left with a beautiful Indian Ringneck that we have named (we’re still not sure if she will keep this name) “Indy”. It was hard last night to walk around the corner and see a different bird there. Paul kept saying it should be Harvey. If a miracle happens and Harvey comes home, then we will be the happy owners of four birds. Paul said exactly what I felt last night:
“It would be easier if he had died…this not knowing is the worst feeling in the world”
The breeder we got Indy from said that bird owners grieve more than any other pet owner in the world. Apparently their attitudes and the bond they form with humans is greater than any other.
I know its killing me, but every day it gets easier. At least we had him for awhile.
He knew we loved him.
This is what "Indy" looks like, except she is a girl and does not have the black ring. She does have a little bit of a ring, but the girls usually do not get them. We can't hold her on our finger because her nails are too big and sharp, but she likes to sit on our hand and shoulders. She seems very curious and loves to run around and get into stuff.
