Finished the last HP book and cried my eyes out. I do not think Snape is bad...I think Dumbledore was begging him to it so the death eaters would not. I have always liked Snape's character. I don't know why...but I have. I feel like starting a book. I have thought about it a lot lately. The last one I wrote was in high school when I was 16-17 on a manual typewriter and a word processer. I think I would write about my life...the thoughts I have about the past and so on. I just have to find the time. I know no one will want to read it, but I feel the need to write some things out. I am still not over Bonnie's death and think about it everyday. I think it would be so much easier if she had not killed herself. The scary part is after being mad and angry...I kind of understand her. Atleast lately. I think what scares me the most is I have the same disease she had and it is so misunderstood. How could I call into work and say "Look...my depression is horrible today. I can't stop crying and I don't want to move, much less talk or see anyone." This just does not happen. I am upping my prozac back up to twenty. I don't need my doctor to charge me a bunch of money to tell me that.
Gizzmo has been acting weird lately. She does not want to leave mine or Paul's side. As I sit typing she is resting under my hands on the keyboard drawer. When I get up to move she will follow me and get in my lap. If you know Gizzmo you know this is not like her at all. I am worried. She had a fever yesterday and her eyes are watering. I know her day is getting closer, but how I will handle it is still a mystery. Until then Paul and I hold her and let her get away with murder. Regular words whispered into her ears are "I love you always...more than anything." Is it healthy to love a animal so much?
Cliff is off at his moms for his last weekend before school and Paul and I are celebrating. Going to play that addictive ass "Animal Crossing"!
DAMN YOU JESSICA!
Posted by Shannon_50 at July 30, 2005 11:44 PM