World of Wings

Mumbling to myself

I really just do not write on here enough. I am in my own little world here, lately.

Cliff has moved in and pretty much settled in. Paul and I actually seem to be getting along better. The weeks are the worse because we’re usually up at 6 am getting him ready and out the door and the off to work I go. After work we spend hours helping Cliff with his homework and then dinner has to be made. After dinner I have to fix his lunch, work on laundry and make sure he gets a shower and loads and unloads the dishwasher. Finally, after he takes his Remeron he goes to sleepy land. The last few hours of me being awake end up being “me” time when I spend time watching TV, painting, scrap booking or whatever pops into my little head. We wake up the next morning and start the cycle all over again. He seems to be getting better in school having made a 20 on his first spelling test and now a 80 on his latest. His temper is smoothing out and he is remembering stuff a lot better. This weekend his mother came and picked him up for Mobile so Paul and I get a little time to ourselves and we plan to use in wisely. WINK WINK, know what I mean, know what I mean? Probably not.

Oh well. The past two days have been migraine hell for me and I am lucky that my pain meds were due to be refilled. Last bottle, ladies and gents for I plan on weaning myself off of these damn things next week! I have a pain management appointment on the tenth, which is great; hopefully they will start me on Cortisone shots. I realized last night that my Welbutrin ran out and I had to frantically call my pharmacist to beg him for three pills until Monday. I need my happy pill! I will start weaning myself off the Lexapro as soon as I am off the pain meds and hopefully I can go back to losing weight. I had lost ten pounds on the Welbutrin, but the Lexapro has been counter-acting it because I crave food on it. Paul got me a pill cutter so I need to start cutting them into halves and then thirds. Also, to conclude this whole medical spill, I am now on Provera for a full year, every month, so expect me to be a moody bitch when the time comes.

My house is falling apart around me, but it is so hard to keep it clean with an eleven year old and Paul in the house. I think I am really going to work on it this Sunday while Cliff is gone and if his mom leaves early send Paul and Cliff to Travis’s to swim for a bit. It is easier to clean that way.

I talked to Bill P. the other day and we discussed our “argument” over the guitar. I think we are okay now and hope to see him some time this week. It has been years and he is one friend I really miss and I am willing to forgive, unlike Nic who really fucked up my trust for him and seems to not even care.

My sister wrote me a letter yesterday and I had to giggle when she said she got caught smoking weed and got in trouble “Boy, I really learned my lesson, I will never do it again!” says the 16 ½ year old. Whatever…J I miss those girls and having Cliff reminds me of that. I miss their soft hands, giggles, hugs and kisses. I miss their cries in the night, threatening to run away (to the car) and having “plays” for the whole family. The ironic part is no matter what none of that will ever come back to me because they are no longer babies. People grow and it is beginning to upset me. Animals do to. I am a freak when it comes to Gizzmo, every cough and sneeze makes me fly over to her and make sure she is not falling apart. How fair is it that she will be gone before me? I want her to stop growing…I want her mouth to be pink again, her hair to grow back and I want her to stop losing weight. But really she is still the most beautiful cat in the world. So shove it! That is it for now. I am rambling because I am on pain meds.

Poor K. had to deal with my fat ass "cuddling" advances

If it were not for Paul I would have cuddled Jeff all night

Best sailboat in the world

Tired

This has been a long and exhausting weekend. It has been years since I have stayed up every night until sunset. I will do a more elaborate update later, but until then here is a good pic of most of us at the beach this morning at four. We found a lovely sailboat to hang in and we almost made it to see the sun come up. The weather was wonderful...I could have stayed out there forever!

Good News, Bad News

Cliff moved in last night, told his mother "I think I'll like it here, I even have chores to do!," slept in his bed without whining and not once complained that his mom was not there! Those were the good things about last night. The bad things were: Cliff promptly threw up the six green beens we made him eat, Paul and I have to take back the tv we got after Paul broke the new one Monday night (it was sweeeeet, but way too much money acording to gp's) and I have the messiest house to get clean tonight after work because Sara and Jo are coming to visit Thursday night from Texas. I also have a touch of what we think is the flu with my aching muscles and everything I put in my mouth comes right back out. Oh well...Cliff should be going to the gp's for the weekend and we will try to have a good time with our visitors as well as Jeff, Susan and her husband (I can't remember his name!). I got the first season of "Reno 911" on DVD and it kicks much ass....mmmhmmmm. We also watched "The Butterfly Effect" last night and really enjoyed it. I know I will get kicked for this, but we actually liked it more that "Secret Window" which I thought was a rip off of "Fight Club" and "Identity" all in one. I think I will go take a nap here on the couch at work right now.